I do life in varying ways to keep from going stale.
I’ll input as much as I can for a while by agreeing to everything, meet everyone, go everywhere. Then I’ll output for a while by saying no to everything, and just focus on what I want to do like shoot, read or write.
I’ve done the domestic life for a long time. You know, with a house, car, dog, furniture, stocked kitchen, and everything else that comes with them. Then I’ll give it all away, or lose it until I’m back to the essentials.
And I’ll do them both to their extremes.
It’s fun to push the boundaries and explore the edges to see what I can do. For a time, I was interested in pursuing a normal life. But there are enough people doing that. More growth and discovery seems to happen when I’m uncomfortable and challenged.
People think it’s strange and ask why I feel the need to be so all-or-nothing. They ask why I don’t just find the middle ground. But I am not most people.
There is something fun and fulfilling about experiencing these extremes. Knowing I can live in these different scenarios is more honest and relaxing to me.
It is fast approaching that time of year again. November is designated as National Novel Writing Month with their stated goal being 50,000 words a month into a novel. I love the concept but it isn’t practical for me so of course I’ll be hacking this.
Now that I am pivoting focus from photography to writing these next few months, it’ll probably go extreme. The intent is to crank out a couple of short stories, while finish plotting out the bigger ones. There may even be more frequent content here and in my personal journal as well.
I thought about the importance of my commitment to post here daily but nope, enjoying the process is more important than a stringent schedule.
But then too I get frustrated with being a single-focused individual. I also want to grab the camera or write code but what has priority for me? What has more value?
Once I realize that one value is more important to me than another, I have to ask if I am living accordingly.
What’s more important to me? Learning or creating? Expand or focus?
Once I work that out I may yet go extreme with it. “All in” as they say and optimize my life around it and let go of almost everything else. And then change it up after that.
This past week I had an email from LinkedIn, the online professional networking website about a position I held. Someone was disputing my tenure there. Well, that prompted me to correct the mistake. Oops, I failed to update my last day there.
Well, that prompted me to say that after thirteen years of LinkedIn it was time to delete that account. Poof. Gone, just like that.
I don’t know why I have this rebellious side of me, I really don’t. I don’t mean to be so contrarian but it happens. I want to be opposite of my surroundings some times.
The strong-willed, overachievers bring out the lazy side of me. People I know who are slackers bring out the best in me. If people prefer colors, I tend to go with black or grey.
I’ll root for the underdog, seek a balance to offset the other side and swim upstream. We’re taught to not be this way. We aren’t to react that way. I’m supposed to be the same but I form my own opinions thank you very much.
What motivates me is knowing that there is something out there that is the opposite of what I want.
If I see selfishness it tends to make me more generous. If someone is freaking out, I choose to remain calm. If I observe someone who is wasting their talent it motivates me to keep practicing. Competition makes me better after all. Knowing a friend who doesn’t take care of themselves encourages me to get healthier. and so on and so on.
It’s been a balance of better to worse so far. Why fight it?
I need to make personal growth a priority. This means I plan a life away from the safe zone and do it. And when I decide that creativity is a priority than I need to plan a peaceful place without obstacles so I can just create.
But I need to get these ideas of personal growth and creativity out of my head and into the real world.
There is a big difference between theory and application.
If it turns out to be a mistake so be it. I’ll know it was a mistake instead of just a theory.